30 Nov 2008 - 07:58:03 am
If People Don't, I Won't EitherI'm home alone with Dash and Stang and since I'm feeling really sick right now Grandpa told me to stay home while they go out and shop. I really wanted to tag along but Grandma said if tomorrow I feel better, I can. I feel like I'll never get better to go out or something since Grandpa kept putting it off. But since I'm home alone I went around the house in my chair and did a couple wheelies but I already got tired just doing a few. So I went to the living room and sat on the couch and did some homework then Dash, Stang, and I played fetched and watched a little TV. I finished more homework and turned it in to my teachers. I really hope I get to finish 8th grade and maybe even go to high school, that sounds really fun.
I love my family, I love Dash, and the people who have cared so much ever since I was born. I got thinking back to the days when everything was ok. When I wasn't sick, when Mom was still around, and when Dad doesn't work as much. Sometimes, I wonder if nothing ever happened, what would we be doing right now. I don't know why but when the bad things started happening, I just imagined more of what would have happened. Like making a perfect story in my head of nothing going wrong and everyone's happy.
Grandpa told me sometimes, we can't ask for too much and when things happen, we just have to keep going with it. He said the more we complaint the worse things going to get. But sometimes I can't help it. I know I'm sick and sometimes, I wish that Dad would work less to be with me. I wish people around me that I know can take hours or even minutes off their lives to say hi and talk to me for a few. I know people are busy and people got their own things to do, but sometimes, I just wish. I don't know if it's because it's good for me or for them. I feel like if they never get to stop by to say hi or talk to me, when I'm gone they'll regret it and blame themselves for everything they didn't get to do or say. I hate it when people do that, it's sad.
But I guess some people like Dad hae their own way of fixing things. Like working a lot and keeping themselves busy. Then they wouldn't have to think much of anything else but work. I guess that's good too, I don't want people do go crazy because of me. I don't want people to stress too much over me either. But in the same time, I want to feel loved, feel like I belong, like people actually care if I'm here or not.
Maybe people don't care then I won't either.
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